Van Gogh Spray Paint

There are just some things in the game of basketball that words cannot do justice. Simply describing some plays is just not enough. As you see it, you know it's special. You can tell the player that executed the play is a keen observer of the game. They've been watching the tendencies of his opponent. He knows the game inside out. And then it happens. That's right. I'm talking about the perfect flop.

Wait...You thought I was going to talk about the perfect pass? Sorry. This is an art form all its own and just as impressive in my opinion.

Let's take a look at some beauties.

Would you look at it?

Would you look at that?

Just look at it?

Right now, I would assume most of you are about ready to skip over the rest of this post. You likely don't want to read an entire post about why grown men falling over is an art form and that's your right. In fact, you're probably not alone because it seems as though the general public is against flopping and I just don't understand it.

The idea of punishing floppers and attempting to outlaw the flop in the NBA started to develop early on this season and I had assumed it would subside, but unfortunately it has not disappeared. In fact, it has strengthened. Now you can't watch a single game without some announcer taking about how acting is not a part of basketball and players should not be rewarded for acting. It's gotten so bad that Jeff Van Gundy can no longer go five minutes without screaming about outlawing the flop. If you go to Youtube right now and type in "jeff van gundy flop", you will find over a page of results!

And why do people want to outlaw it? I'm honestly not sure. The only argument I've heard pertains to the manlihood of each player in the league.

The best way to play basketball is as physical as possible. If you're a post player, it is absolutely necessary to throw elbows and bang around as hard as possible to get position. That's how you play basketball in the NBA. It's a MAN'S GAME.

I'm pretty sure that is how the argument goes. It doesn't make a ton of sense to me, but I guess that's how people see the game. I'm not sure why though because any one who has ever played the game knows that basketball is so much more. Basketball is all about the game inside the game. On offense, if someone takes away Option A, you go to Option B. On defense, after you have taken away Option A on the first possession, you give up Option A to take away Option B. The game is unbelievably intricate and any one who argues that the strongest man should prevail just doesn't grasp the beauty of the game.

The flop is a tool utilized by the smartest players to manipulate the game to their advantage. The flop is not a single play. The flop is a psychological weapon. The flop is not about the play, but rather the plays leading up to and after the flop has occurred. A single flop can affect an entire game.

The greatest flop artists plan out their flops. The entire first quarter will likely consist of overly aggressive physical play. Lots of pushing. Lots of elbows. The pushing will get to such an extreme point that the opponent will be on the verge of throwing a punch. Then it happens.

The flop. A real beauty. Typically within five feet of an official. And completely exaggerated.

This will be infuriating to the opponent. He just spent the last quarter in the most physical battle of his life and now this guy falls over when he gets touched. What will he do the rest of the game? Will he throw some elbows again? Will he fall over?

This kind of psychological battle is something that a majority of people want to remove from the game. Outlawing the flop will remove one of the intricacies that makes the game so special. Instead of painting with a brush, the game would turn into a bunch of artists attempting to replicate a Van Gogh with spray paint.

And now enjoy The Art of Flopping as taught by Professor Vlade Divac.